Free translation of an article published in “Crescer” magazine, nº 138, on May 2005 (Brazil)
Ten reasons why we become much better after our kids are born (Malu Echeverria)
Forget sleepless nights, the guilt of leaving your kids at home to go work, the lack of time for taking care of yourself. Ignore the credit card account, the mess around the house, the being tired. At least for some moments, stop demanding too much from yourself for not being a perfect mother. On Mother’s Day, enjoy the happy moments brought by motherhood. […]
1. You get new friends
At the school entrance, in parental meetings and in children parties, you meet the parents of your kids’ friends. They become your friends, too, increasing and diversifying your network. After all, there’s no lack of things in common.
2. You become a healthy person
Even those who don’t like walking, after becoming mothers, find how much riding a bike or playing with a ball is cool. The concern is pertinent: you want to be well in order to see your kid growing up.
3. Your time becomes more productive
“The capacity that women have to think and do a lot of things at the same time is increased after motherhood, because the demands also increase”, the psychoanalyst Ana Paula Pires explains. Have you ever imagined that you would manage to dress, talk on the phone and carry a baby, everything at the same time? […]
4. You are powerful
You find that your body has a nobler mission than only enchanting men […]. The discovery that your body is able to create a human being really gives you a sensation of power.
5. You want a better world
As all of good mothers, you want the planet to be a better place for living.
6. You find you are a well of patience
You ignore child’s in-public-fits, the complaints at bath time, the crying in the early morning. “When we are in love, we bear almost everything […]”, the family therapist Marília de Freitas Pereira compares.
7. The choosiness is let go
[…] Nowadays, if a problem appears (yes, you don’t look for it anymore!), soon you find a solution and that’s it!
8. You feel the greatest love
The love that exists in the relationship with children compensates any difficulty […].
9. Other talents arise
Maybe you had some abilities before being a mother. But, certainly, you have never used them with so much pleasure as you do nowadays. […]
10. You go back to playing
The psychoanalyst Ana Paula sums up why being a mother is so good: “Motherhood brings a lighter way of living.” Enjoy!
At first sight, this report is an acknowledgement: see all the happiness that is a privilege only to mothers!
At second sight, this report is a eulogy: be proud for all the qualities that only motherhood gives.
At third sight, this article is an invitation: be conscious of all the wonders that are within mothers’ reach and enjoy them.
At fourth sight, it’s a consolation (or a reprehension): problems are irrelevant in face of so many gifts that mothers receive!
Although, there is a fifth truth: the acknowledgement, the eulogy, the invitation to pleasure and the consolation are presented under so many conditions, that in the end the homage becomes an obligation. And every imposition can become guilt.
|Reasons to be happy, according to the report:||Conditions presented on this report:|
|Only mothers are happy||If you aren’t happy, you are not a good mother|
|At least for some moments, stop demanding from yourself for not being a perfect mother||After these moments, you can go back to demanding from yourself. A list follows:|
|New friends||If you don’t become a friend of the parents of your kids’ friends, you are not a good mother|
|A more productive time||If you cannot dress, talk on the phone and carry the baby at the same time, you are not a good mother|
|Power||Women’s bodies are only good for men [!!!] and, after them, for children. The report discards everything that a woman can access by her own body as an extension of her individual consciousness|
|A better world||If you don’t get involved in ecology, Human Rights and World Peace, you are not a good mother|
|Well of patience||If you don’t have more than enough patience with children’s fits, complaints and crying, you are not a good mother. If you don’t bear everything, you are not in love with your kids|
|No choosiness||If you don’t find a solution for the problems soon, you are choosy and you don’t prioritize what really matters – the children|
|The greatest love||If the unlimited love doesn’t show up at first sight, you are not a good mother|
|New talents||If you aren’t creative, you are not a good mother|
|Playing||If you didn’t go back to playing and if you don’t lead a lighter kind of life, you are not a good mother|
The whole text is written in the Present Tense: you do, you become, you define, you find, you want, take, feel, believe, you are. This affirmative approach, with the testimonies and photos of six mothers delighted with their children and the comments of four psychologists, contributes to reinforce that “being happy” is not a realization. It’s a duty for mothers.
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